December may have come and gone, but I’m still a little hungover on holiday nostalgia which means that the spirit of George Bailey will be joining me in 2024. I’ll admit, I’ve had worse ideas. Then again, none of those involved me blogging for all the internet to see but that’s beside the point.
The point is that, “the three most exciting sounds in the world are anchor chains, plane motors, and train whistles!” (It’s a Wonderful Life, 1946). I know what you are thinking. Between grappling seasickness, having our waters confiscated by TSA, and spying a sewer rat scurry across the subway platform, it’s easy to grimace at the thought of public transportation. Everyone has their stories, but not everyone can afford a private jet. So, with the start of the new year, cheers to more shuffling through metal detectors in that one sock that you forgot had a hole in it.
The thing that makes me laugh the most about public transportation is that every place you go has it, but everyone has to do it a little bit different. For starters, what city are you trying to ride a train in? Don’t call the “T” the Subway, but don’t call the Metro the “L” either. I am all for the individuality, but sometimes it would be nice to know what circled letter I should be looking for on the street when I’m trying to navigate a city for the first time. Though I will say, people are usually very nice about helping you out (especially when you dazedly twirl in circles a couple of times).
However, when the languages change with the name of the train system,
sometimes it’s unavoidable to look like you belong in a Three Stooges skit. This past year, I found myself with some friends in Kagoshima, Japan which is located in the southernmost island of the 4 main prefectures (Tokyo being much farther north). Kagoshima isn’t a popular western tourist destination so English isn’t commonly spoken and transportation signage doesn’t really account for foreign visitors. But Japan is world-renowned for their trains, especially the “Shinkansen” bullet train, so I wasn’t going to let the language-barrier deter me. Nonetheless, with determination, Google translate, and strength in numbers, my friends and I endeavored to ride the city tram to the bullet train and on-wards.
Since we came prepared, navigating the language barrier proved simple enough. One detail we overlooked was the train culture. Once you find the platform, figure out the right direction, and get on the tram, how do you pay and get off? Monkey-See-Monkey-Do felt like the best strategy, the only problem was that everyone who got on the train had special cards that they tapped to get off. Japanese culture is one of the most respectful, honest, and admirable cultures I have experienced, so much so that you don’t need to prove you have the means to pay before you get on the platform or the tram. Thankfully, after a series of (hopefully respectful) hand gestures and a few awkward smiles with the tram conductor, my friends and I were able to reach our destination with our integrity intact.
As I reflect more, I’m starting to realize that traversing the rails of suburban Japan is one of my tamer transportation stories. After all, while I may have looked like a fool, it didn’t involve running after a departing train that my cousin was mistakenly on in Pisa, my mom getting accidentally hip-checked by a very funny German woman in Berlin, or my friend losing the wheels on a suitcase while trudging up the stairs of a London tube station during rush hour. Since we are just starting out, and to avoid over-killing my monologue, I’ll save those for another time.
The fact that I have written over 500 words and only covered a bit about trains truly demonstrates just how easy it is to outrageously overcomplicate something as simple as public transportation. If you take anything away from this post, then I hope it is this: next time you are standing still and confused on a train platform feeling like you are the only one who doesn’t fully understand what is going on, please know that you are not alone. You may not be on the easiest route to your destination, but I’m sure you’ll have a great story to share with us later.
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